Sleepyhead&Mysophobe

now I’m back in Norway from Seoul :C

eunjiarism — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 15:16:24 +0200

now I’m back in Norway from Seoul :C

ㅋㅋㅋ~

eunjiarism — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 16:04:04 +0200

ㅋㅋㅋ~

I’m in SEEOULLLLL!!!!!

eunjiarism — Fri, 31 May 2013 07:09:08 +0200

I’m in SEEOULLLLL!!!!!

Leaving for Seoul tmrw

eunjiarism — Wed, 29 May 2013 19:37:09 +0200

I’m so excited I don’t know what to do with myself

Back in 2011 I bought this. I was so excited every time I wore...

eunjiarism — Wed, 29 May 2013 16:50:00 +0200

Back in 2011 I bought this. I was so excited every time I wore it, but nowadays I’m not. I wanted to make it to something new, the feeling of buying something new. I made this photo collage to show the process. I am an amateur so I didn’t have it all planned out. I just did it! Although I wanted the back pattern to be longer, since I’m not a pro, I had to cut it. I mismeasured it, but I’m pretty satisfied with how it turned out ^^ I really enjoy doing stuff like these. I believe it took me 2-3 days to do this and all is hand sewed! The stitching isn’t perfect, I sat for over 8 hours sewing the back part. I was getting fed up, so I am pretty satisfied. Satisfied because I didn’t have all the right tools to, but I worked with what I had.

The first photo collage shows where I got my inspiration from.

#1: ironing this fabric I bought at a hobby store
#2: measuring
#3: cutting
#4: sewing
#5: sewing it on the back
#6: how it looks so far
#7: there’s air inside lol
#8: It kinda looked boring with just the pattern on the back, and I figured I make it on the pockets, too.

uhm

eunjiarism — Sun, 26 May 2013 02:02:00 +0200

Hi (this is awkward). I’ve actually haven’t been on tumblr for a long time. Like sitting down and just scroll down on my dashboard. I’ve been so busy :(

I’ve been working on my sleep ever since my last post. I, my body, actually feel a lot better. I’ve been making sure I get 8 hours of sleep, or at least 7. It has gotten better. I don’t feel like I stress that much anymore. I feel more calm, but my dad triggers me sometimes though… It’s so hard to communicate with him, but I try to not get worked up as much. I try to stay calmer too during work when there’s a rush. It’s really hectic there at times, but I’m supahwoman, don’t worry. haha.

Having to get enough sleep and friends as my priority now, I haven’t been able to do what I want to do. Not that I don’t want to see my friends, but I just have a lot to do on my “list”. Surprisingly, I don’t stress about that. I have just put that list on the side. I do miss dancing (I’ve been dancing less), and doing my hobbies like making stuff (clothes, DIY stuff, projects, etc). I like being creative, but during this time at the month, friends have become more important. I won’t be able to meet them any much longer, since we are going on our own paths. Life is passing by so fast now, in a blink of an eye. Feel like it’s passing right through me and I don’t even have the time to do everything I want to do. Don’t you feel like this, too?

help me

eunjiarism — Wed, 08 May 2013 18:43:00 +0200

Lack of sleep is not uncommon for me as long as I can remember. I just don’t push myself to get enough of sleep or go to sleep early, even if I have to wake up early.

I just can’t sleep.

Sleep is in many ways so important. It let your skin and body rest, heal and boost. You are more relaxed throughout the day, if not you’ll have lots of negative thoughts that will only drag you down. You can’t think clear either, it’s just a tangled ball of yarn in your mind. Chaos.
Because of my bad sleeping habit, I’m tired all the time. I stress everyday which causes my facial skin to break out. I try all this facial skincare and it doesn’t work. I always forget why, because I don’t sleep enough. I always forget that lack of sleep is the source of all my problems, because I’m so used to it now, even though I feel what it does to me.

I get bad tempered, always in this mood of giving up and don’t want to live anymore. Nagging and complaining. It is probably why I get depressed now and then.
Sometimes I can sleep for 12+ hours (the average human only need 8) and sometimes I only get 2 hours of sleep. Sleeping too much is not good for you either. I don’t have a balance, my sleeping pattern is really fucked up. I know I’m the only one that can help myself. It is so hard to break this ‘evil circle’ I’ve created for myself. At this moment I’m writing this, I’ve been awake for 12 hours now with 2 hours of sleep. I should probably take a nap or get some sleep, right? I can’t do it. I want to, but I can’t.
I am really tired. I should get a prize for hurting myself. .

Photo

eunjiarism — Mon, 06 May 2013 22:14:01 +0200

Photo

eunjiarism — Sat, 04 May 2013 02:47:31 +0200

A post of big mess

eunjiarism — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 00:35:00 +0100

you know, I’m really getting depressed right now. I know that because I’m tired. My mind is tired. It feels like my soul or spirit has left my body. I’ve been just laying all day after work today. I just want to sleep, but a part of my mind won’t let me sleep and get rest. This is why I’m depressed, because it won’t allow me to sleep. I just stay up and think too much. Over-thinking is not healthy, it just makes you depressed and feel like shiet. You feel suicidal and I feel so ashamed for saying that and feeling like this. You feel like you don’t have anything to live for, what’s the point you think? Depression is not something to taken lightly. The scariest thing is that everybody can get it, even if that person is the most happiest person you know. I feel so messed up on my mind right now. I feel like this post is a big mess. I can’t get my mind straight. I know I will get out of this mental state. I know I have to try stop thinking too much, but it’s not easy. I’ve done this before, I can do it again, but when you’re in this mood, it feels like you’re never going to get out of it. I’ll do my best, but..

I feel like my depression will never go away, because I just cover it up with my anger. I have a lot of anger inside of me and I tend to let it take control over me. Sometimes I cover it up doing kind things for people, to feel good about myself. Right now, I just feel all this hate and anger that I don’t know where it is coming from. I have never truly opened myself up for anyone, beside this personal blog, but I still feel like I haven’t. This is a lot easier though, like a get away. I won’t feel like I’m being judged all the time. What I say, how I look like and my actions.

This is absolutely not that kind of person I want to be. I don’t know how to help myself. I don’t see any way to get out of this and to never fall back into this state.

you will never truly know someone

eunjiarism — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 00:11:00 +0100

even if it’s family or best friends

chloeelizabethxoxo: stilettovilla: let-your-scars-be: I love...

eunjiarism — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 23:50:17 +0100

chloeelizabethxoxo:

stilettovilla:

let-your-scars-be:

I love this gif because just look her.. She doesnt even flinch..Shes all like “Theres a chance I may die but who cares”

This has to be the saddest, most disturbing gif ever.

I love this.

my life is so boring no one wants to hang out with me

eunjiarism — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 23:02:30 +0100

my life is so boring no one wants to hang out with me

Photo

eunjiarism — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 01:30:34 +0100

Photo

eunjiarism — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 01:23:21 +0100

random thought

eunjiarism — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:54:00 +0100

I just remembered how my parents used to call me “小辣椒 - xiao làjiāo” which means little chili, because I had a short temper. It kinda fits too since jiao is my middle name. So…. I’ve been having a short temper since I was little, how didn’t I see this?! haha. They used to call me “小公主 - xiao gōngzhǔ”, too which means little princess, because if I didn’t get what I wanted I would get angry, hence the “xiao làjiāo”. My parents must have loved me as a child.

Our First Time (Alternative Version) ~ Bruno Mars...

eunjiarism — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 22:45:39 +0100

Our First Time (Alternative Version) 
~ Bruno Mars 
"Atlantic/Elektra Records Present: 
The Love EP" 2011

ciao-ragazzo: Boyfriend || Best Coast How gay is this song am...

eunjiarism — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 22:26:56 +0100

ciao-ragazzo:

Boyfriend || Best Coast

How gay is this song am I right????

jk es like my fav

abstruseness: Too tired for school.

eunjiarism — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 03:25:02 +0100

abstruseness:

Too tired for school.

Is this even worth my time to think about

eunjiarism — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 02:27:00 +0100

sooooo….. I’ve applied to study Chinese and Japanese (university, bachelor degree) this autumn. I want to be able to speak, write and read them. I would’ve applied for Korean, but Norway doesn’t offer that.

So this is the “problem”: my mind got complicated when someone introduced this folk high school that offers to study dancing. It last for one year and consist of dancing everyday and I’ve always wanted that. Everything from dance theory, to learning different dance styles, to choreography and improvisation. A trip to London and Cuba to learn salsa. It all sounds so good and I know the thought of being able to dance everyday makes me genuinely happy.

I know it’s crazy for a person like me to hesitate about it. It’s just that I love culture and languages, too and it holds me back from dancing. It holds me back because it’s a more realistic dream to go for. I know if I want to pursue as a dancer, it will never guarantee if I will make it or not. If I want to be a dancer, I would just like to be a back-up dancer (or later on something more.) The thing is this folk high school is just 30 minutes from my hometown, and the university I’ve applied for is hours away. I really want to move far away from my hometown.

My mind is saying I should just leave the thought of dancing and go for the realistic, safer road. You know what they say and what has been proven; what makes you successful is being passionate about your work.
So, what do I do?