Sleepyhead&Mysophobe

There’s actually some albums I want to listen by american musicians. People always assume I only want to listen to kpop or eastern music, but I’m waiting for somebody who will show me an album. Because, I will think and look at it as someone who’s not afraid of me, for showing me something new (cuz most ppl will give up because I listen to kpop, so there’s “no hope”).

I enjoy singing. I wish I was good at singing and have a nice voice, but I don’t.

I want to be able to play the guitar, but my brain just don’t get how to play it.

Norwegian: normal
Mandarin/Hainanese: angry
English: hoarse
Korean: cute
Japanese: cute

yeah, that’s all byeee~

I want to be a cheerful, happy, positive person. I always find myself being passive, disappointed and whine a lot. I always have too high expectations of people. I want to be like the person I used to be 4-5 years ago. I have so much on my mind, so much things to be done. It’s not like the old days when I could play all day long. Is it the part that I’m growing up now? Drifting away from friends I used to be close to? Drifting away because we’ve become different as a person in each our way? We probably don’t have the same interest anymore. It’s hard to accept it.

Often, I question myself how we should live life. What is the real life? Are we only living the life of going to school/work, study, eat, sleep and this same routine everyday? because everybody does it? Knowledge is important, I know that. At the same time, I feel like the “real” life is out there. Not here, but out there. Where do we learn more? Sitting in a room for hours or exploring? You and I need to explore the world. We need to experience, feel it and see it with our own eyes. 
People are dying, dying of starvation, lack of water and other horrible things. Why are we wealthy people doing inside watching tv, partying, drinking? We should be out there, not inside when you’re not really listening to the teacher. Our earth is a beautiful place, but we just haven’t treasured it. I want to do something. I feel hopeless and I feel like crying.
So what is life? Is it really the same old routine? We should expand our interest, do something we’re good at and be creative. I just can’t find the work we do at school is important. It really isn’t to me. Something I really wanted to do: travel the world with just the money I have. Experience ups and downs on the road on the unknown future ahead of me. Why is it that difficult to bring myself to do it? Yes, I know the answer myself: family and friends. 

I feel like I’m a nobody. Isn’t this the same as skipping school? I feel immature being like this. I want to rather die than just go through this everyday routine of human beings. I want to ask you: what is your opinion of how we should live life? Do tell me, I want to know.

like Robert Pattinson, Alexander Rybak or Justin Bieber. The only reason for people to hate/dislike them is because they’re overrated. It bothers me to the guts that people talk bad about them. They have done nothing to you. It’s the fangirls who makes you hate their idol. Deep down, you know it’s the truth. If it hadn’t been for the fangirls, you wouldn’t hear about their crazy freaky love for their actors/singers and getting irritated over it. That’s all I wanted to say. This subject has come up a lot lately and I am sick of tired of people who says immature things about celebrities. When they clearly has done absolutely nothing, nothing! to you asdfghjklp

I like to act. I like the idea of playing a character and do it your own, because I don’t really like my personality. I don’t do it all the time, but I sometimes act around people now and then. I am really good at crying. I practice infront of a mirror, thinking of a sad scenario and force those tears out. Big success! lol. 

or getting more involved with boys than you.

I don’t know if you’ve experienced this but, when my friends get a boyfriend they kind of change in personality. Like all of them. I’m not saying they change in a negative way, but some can though. Is it impossible not to? When I get one, I don’t want to change. I just feel they get more matured and I know I should be happy for them. I am! I just feel like I’m drifting apart from them. It’s kind of hard to hang out with them. I can’t do boys, haha. I don’t have one single boy friend to normally talk to. I can’t talk to boys. I get all nervous and I don’t know why. I’m 18 years old goddammit and I feel like a lame kid. While my friends enjoy drinking & partying, I rather sit inside play pokémon, lol. OR just do other sensible stuff than getting wasted. WHAT IS WRONG WIZ ME?! 

My friends can really hurt me sometimes with what they’re saying to me. Which is about me or has to do something about me. All I can do is by smiling and act like it’s nothing, because I don’t bother to get into an argument/quarrel with them. I feel like I’m getting stepped over by them. Sad.

especially when I see a guy I absolutely adore